‘The Dark Tower’ Film Review

Grade: F

It looks like ‘Pet Sematary’ is not the only terrible Stephen King film adaptation I have seen yet. Yes, Mary Lambert’s 1989 horror – Ahem! – classic was a nonsensical and grotesque piece of camp, but there was something entertaining in its cheesy demeanor. In Nikolaj Arcel’s adaptation of ‘The Dark Tower’; King’s 8-part series of books, however, the entertainment factor goes down to zero. This movie had potential to be a great epic, instead, it fell flat from the word “Go!”. I had more fun trying to spot the many Easter Eggs hidden throughout than I did sitting through this badly acted lackluster. Excuse that understatement! “Bad” is no way to describe the experience of watching this film; let’s go with “Boring”. Not since ‘Twilight’ have I seen actors feel like they wanted to collect their paychecks and wanted to go home from another day of work, hence a few alright performances from Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey, who at least try; being huge names and all.

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‘Sing’ Film Review

Grade: D+

Sing Movie Poster

Illumination Entertainment has failed this year with their box-office hit, yet shameful film, ‘The Secret Life of Pets’. With ‘Sing’, it looks like they may still have some of that charm that has made ‘Despicable Me’, ‘Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax’, and ‘Minions’ animated masterpieces; except the only problem is unlike those films, ‘Sing’ is a clunky mess that hasn’t figured out a way to set up what could be lovable characters that could instantly become action figures and toys to fill up the rooms of children everywhere. (It’s possible this movie is succeeding at the box-office based on Christmas returns, so toys are sure to happen.) If ‘Zootopia’ meshed with the likes of ‘America’s Got Talent’, and ‘American Idol’, we would have ‘Sing’. Despite the title, ‘Sing’ is less of a musical, and more of a comedy in the style of ‘Noises Off!’ and ‘Footlight Frenzy’, wherein everything on stage that could go wrong does, and it’s up to the director/manager/host to keep everything together while the cast/variety of talent deals with problems of their own.

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‘Kubo and the Two Strings’ Film Review.

Grade: B-

Kubo and the Two Strings Movie Poster

I believe what makes ‘Kubo and the Two Strings’ worth watching is not only for its amazing stop-motion, but also for the animators’ ability to bring a large world- such as the one scene in this movie -to life. If you look at the mountains and the seas that are shown during this amazing, yet terrifying and thrilling adventure that young one-eyed Kubo (Voice of Art Parkinson) takes along with his companions: The fierce Monkey (Voice of Charlize Theron) and the idiotic, yet in some ways brilliant, master of archery Beetle (Voice of Matthew McConaughey in his animated debut), you can feel the style and effort these animators have put forth in order to make this movie an animated masterpiece.

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