Alien: Covenant: A Tale of Two Tales (An Average Conclusion)

Long is the way and hard, that out of hell leads up to light

John Milton, Paradise Lost

As the level of anticipation for this last Alien entry has risen to be nearly palpable, so too rises the level of disappointment of the movies overall. Looking back over the series, you can track the quality of the movies and almost create a roller coaster ride with the line connecting them. The thunderous beginning of the series, followed by twists and turns and corkscrews in the movies that come after. All of these aspects inevitably ending with this movie: a slow and sad end of the ride. Ending a series with a movie like this reminds us all of lessons taught repeatedly throughout many franchises in the last decade: a simple premise  CANNOT uphold 40 years of movies and still remain as fresh as the start. I’m pretty bad at analogies involving roller coasters, but I’m pretty good at being bitter and jaded about movies, so let’s end this project with Alien: Covenant.

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‘Alien: Covenant’ Film Review

Grade: D

I’m not sure what to say about ‘Alien: Covenant’, but as far as I can remember, it is one of the most disappointing science-fiction movies since ‘Morgan’. Here’s a little fact! If you remember my review of last year’s ‘Morgan’, I mentioned how the director of that little film was Luke Scott, a.k.a Ridley Scott’s father. Why do I bring up this fact? Well, if you know the movies ‘Alien’ and ‘Prometheus’, then you know the name ‘Ridley Scott’. He has made acclaimed movies (‘Gladiator’, ‘Blade Runner’, ‘The Martian’), and he has made critically divisive movies (‘The Counselor’, ‘Exodus: Gods and Kings’). What Ridley Scott wanted to do was to capture the feeling audiences felt when watching ‘Alien’ for the first time, from its opening titles which fade in one by one to the ‘Alien’ theme by Jerry Goldsmith, to its plot which critics have felt was similar, while also serving as a sequel to the divisive ‘Prometheus’, which was a semi-prequel to ‘Alien’ that worked as a visually stunning stand-alone movie, but sadly feels like a video game more than a horror movie worthy of the ‘Alien’ name.

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‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’ Film Review

Grade: A-

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Movie Poster

It’s been five long years since J.K. Rowling and David Yates brought us back to Hogwarts with the final installment in the ‘Harry Potter’ franchise, ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2’. Now it’s 2016. Times are getting tough and it seems our only escape is the world of fantasy with cinematic universes to different studio-based galaxies. There’s the ever-expanding Marvel and DC cinematic universes that have been getting the most tickets; and now it looks like ‘Star Wars’ is trying to expand itself with ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ coming next month. But Hark! A savior has arrived! It’s J.K. Rowling and David Yates once again to take us back to the ever-so-called “Wizarding World of ‘Harry Potter’! But wait! What’s this? It looks like they brought a time machine to take us back 70 years before “The Boy Who Lived” became a hero and saved us all from the nose-less Voldemort’s wrath of attack! But wait! We’re not only transported back in time, but it looks as if they took us to New York, where the world is filled with more social and political issues than we faced in the last week.

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