Prometheus: The New Testament, But At What Cost? (An Avg. Part 7)

[it] wasn’t what we thought [it] was; I was wrong, we were so wrong…

Audiences in the first viewing that wanted to see an Alien prequel, 2012

The final phase is here: a long-awaited end is in sight to this series and my damned Alien project. It’s been quite a ride to bring opinions to you about movies your parents liked and then pretended to only like one or two of. Weathering two very different versions of dead franchises is no small feat, and we can all be thankful that the task is almost over. But before we go back to exclusively watching Disney movies and participating in the end of the world pandemic, there are two more movies in this franchise to discuss. All of the king’s horses and all of the king’s men had gathered together to allow Damien Lindelof and Ridley Scott to answer the question people never truly wanted answered: just what was that spaceship? And who was that jockey from the original Alien? With the last movies before us, let’s begin the conversation about Prometheus.

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The Alien Franchise: Alien (An Average…Project?)

In space no one can hear you scream.

Alien promotional poster, 1979

Alright so I’ve been on a streak of mostly stinky movies, so let’s talk about one of my favorite movies ever made. It was a movie that scared my pants off as a child, and helped mold me into the science fiction nerd I am. This was a groundbreaking film that, despite creating a nearly perfect sequel, branched off into a debauchery of a franchise (and before you ask, I am not alluding to Terminator twice in two posts). I am, of course, talking about the magnificent 1979 motion picture Alien.

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Doom: Annihilation (An Average Review)

I’ve seen worse movies, but this still left me wishing i could have my 1h45m back.

Zach Prevost from Google Reviews, 2020

Doom: Annihilation has to be the best comedy movie since Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. It was a laugh-a-minute thrill ride that had everything I love in comedy: terrible dialogue, comedic action sequences, and fireballs. There was never a dull moment in this movie, where at least 40% of the run time is walking slowly through hallways. Doom takes everything that made its source material fun and created something even better: a comedy about boring space marines.

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Miami Connection (An Average Meandering)

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”                      

Aristotle

There is a problem we have to deal with as movie goers. An ongoing conundrum that is to decide what is good and what is bad. Deep down, we know when a movie is bad (the dialogue is terrible, the movie looks like crap, the editing is atrocious, etc.). But on some occasions, we break our own rules governing movie taste by seeing one of those that are “so bad that they’re good”. For those movies, the problem then arises with a simple question: why did I like this movie?

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Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (An Average Review)

Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There’s no better rule.

Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1861.

Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse was one of the best films that I watched in 2018 and has subsequently become my favorite Spider-man movie (finally taking the title away from Spider-man 2). Immediately after the first viewing on opening weekend, I knew that it was a film that I needed to own. It contained amazingly animated sequences of action, fun characters that are easy to get invested in, and drama that I’m not ashamed to admit had me in tears. Compared to most of the other spider-films, this one is on a completely different level. I would highly encourage you to watch this movie about a boy and his spider friends before continuing through this review.

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Terminator: Dark Fate (an average review)

“‘can I copy your homework?’/ ‘yeah just change it up a bit so it doesn’t look obvious you copied’ / ‘ok'”.

– Popular meme format, 2016.

As far as movie franchises go, the Terminator series is one of a farcical nature in today’s day. When I think about this series, there is always a clear distinction: the original two movies, the other three. I bring my personal distinction into this review with purpose because, through watching this latest installment, I think that the franchise can now be represented as a Venn diagram with a single movie placed in the center. This movie is both good and bad in nearly every aspect; there is nothing I see that is genuinely one or the other. Let’s talk about what I mean: Continue reading “Terminator: Dark Fate (an average review)”

Ad Astra: an average review

Per ardua ad astra

(Through adversity to the stars)

– Motto of the British Royal Air Force

Ad Astra is a movie that I believe would be perfect to start with for a new reviewer of cinema. It is very well shot with many gorgeous vistas, serviceable dialogue that got the point of the movie across, and it was a good reminder that it doesn’t need to be a sequel in a long, drawn out franchise in order to be an excellent film. If I were to sum up the movie with two words, it would be these: beautifully boring. Allow me to elaborate with a spoiler filled review. Continue reading “Ad Astra: an average review”