Alien Vs. Predator: the Filler Crossover Event (An Average Pt. 5)

[The movie would] kill the validity of the franchise; To me, that was Frankenstein Meets Werewolf.

James Cameron on Alien vs. Predator, 2006

The first half of the series is wrapped up, and that mean the good movies are behind us. If there is one thing to count on going forward, it is a downward spiral of wacky nonsense. Long gone are the truly memorable moments when Ripley is running through corridors and we are unsure of her safety. Long gone are the great comedic lines from Bill Paxton, and the funny screams from milk-blood Lance Henrickson. From the mid-point onward, we are awarded with attempts at a high action/low attention span arc in the franchise that will have you laughing more than crying over the corpse that is Alien. Now, onto Alien vs. Predator:

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‘Da 5 Bloods’ Film Review

Grade: B-

Da 5 Bloods (2020)  When it comes to political and social issues, no one is less afraid to speak his mind than Spike Lee. As controversial as his viewpoints may be for some, it is clear that the messages he is trying to send resonate with most people, making him one of the most influential living directors. ‘Da 5 Bloods’ is his newest effort in making a statement about race in the form of four elderly war veterans who return to the jungles of Vietnam to work on some unfinished business left behind by one of their own as their journey threatens to tear them apart.

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Alien Resurrection: The Mid-Series Finale (An Average Review)

In all seriousness, Alien: Resurrection was, I thought, the lowest I could ever feel. And then they cancelled Firefly.


Joss Whedon on SYFY Wire, 2013

It’s finally here: Spring is making its way into Summer, school is out for me and all of the other kiddos, and we have finally hit a major point in the Alien franchise. After the long wait for my trembling, tired fingers to finish with finals for yet another year of college, we can fumble our way through the mid-season finale that is Alien Resurrection. The movie isn’t quite as interesting as the first, isn’t quite as fun as the second, and is not nearly as interesting of a behind-the-scenes as the third; this fourth installment finally sets the original Ripley epic to rest. From Jean-Pierre Jeunet of The City of Lost Children and Joss Whedon of Avengers fame, comes the french proof of concept for Firefly that no one asked for. Let’s dig in.

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‘Artemis Fowl’ Film Review

Grade: F

 I have never seen a book-to-film adaptation so flimsy, chaotic, and silly in its execution such as Kenneth Branagh’s ‘Artemis Fowl’. Keep in mind! This is coming from someone who has never read the books by Eoin Colfer, let alone even aware of its mythology. All I knew about it was that it was centered on a child thief named Artemis Fowl and the secrets he has to unlock. I am sure that it was one of the books I have wanted to read in my childhood, but never had a chance to. A feature film was inevitable and was in development since 2001, but never saw the light of day until its first teaser hit in 2018. Though, it had been pushed back from August 2019 to August of this year, only to be released just yesterday on Disney+ due to the Coronavirus.

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‘The Willoughbys’ Film Review

Grade: B-

The Willoughbys (2020)   Like ‘The Addams Family’, ‘The Willoughbys’ is quirky both in style and sense of humor; taken straight from other dysfunctional families that have come before them, blended into a colorful, candy-coated, yarn-filled family-comedy-adventure that may be a bit predictable, but fun once you buy into its characters. Tim (Voice of Will Forte) is neurotic and wants the best for his family. His sister, Jane (Voice of singer Alessia Cara) is always singing the same melody and always asking the what-ifs of their situations, while both the Barnabys (Voice of Seán Cullen) are monotonously similar that it is hard to tell them apart, prompting their nanny (Voice of Maya Rudolph) to label one A and the other B. Though, what makes them all similar are their red-heads which come from a generation of Willoughbys before them.

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Alien 3: A Studio Mess-terpiece (An Average Pt. 3)

No one hated it more than me; to this day, no one hates it more than me.

David Fincher, Guardian interviews at the BFI (2009)

If there is one thing that we can say about the Alien franchise up to this point, it’s that each movie is an experience. The original movie is one of the quintessential sci-fi experiences of the 70’s. It is the ultimate example of how to turn every element of a cheesy low-budget industrial movie and into a masterpiece. A similar story can be told about the sequel, whose praise is still heard from nearly any movie goer since its release. Even the schlock of either feature, which would usually be critiqued by the standard moviegoer, is ignored compared to deserved aforementioned acclaim. Truly they are cornerstones of their respective director’s and writer’s careers. 1992’s Alien 3, the directorial debut of David Fincher, is…well it’s an experience.

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Aliens (An Average Pt. 2)

A sequel is an admission that you’ve been reduced to imitating yourself.

Don Marquis

So, we have a strong foundation of what Alien is now, right? Fantastic lighting and sound design to create a truly scary atmosphere. Nuanced characterization to create people that seem very real. A monster that avoids sight until absolutely necessary to reveal itself to the audience. All these things are what I focused on in the last post because those were what I believed made a great Alien movie. Well today, we’re going to take some of those things, have them directed by somebody completely different, and turn up the schlock to the nth degree. Get ready folks, because here comes 1986’s Aliens. Let’s dig in:

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‘Galaxy Quest’ Classic Film Review

Grade: B+

Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, and Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest (1999)   With quarantine still in effect, it has been hard to write movie reviews lately, especially since movie theaters have been shut down and there have not been many movies to talk about. Yet, one movie that has come to mind as of late is the 1999 science-fiction spoof ‘Galaxy Quest’, which I vaguely remember from my childhood other than seeing ads for it, and watching it with my family in a motel when I was but a child. Recently, I decided to give it a much-needed re-watch for the experience, being that my mother-in-law had the film in her collection. I have to say that ‘Galaxy Quest’ holds up as a comedy as well as a love letter to the science-fiction genre, conventions, and more importantly ‘Star Trek’ (which it spoofs for the most part).

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The Alien Franchise: Alien (An Average…Project?)

In space no one can hear you scream.

Alien promotional poster, 1979

Alright so I’ve been on a streak of mostly stinky movies, so let’s talk about one of my favorite movies ever made. It was a movie that scared my pants off as a child, and helped mold me into the science fiction nerd I am. This was a groundbreaking film that, despite creating a nearly perfect sequel, branched off into a debauchery of a franchise (and before you ask, I am not alluding to Terminator twice in two posts). I am, of course, talking about the magnificent 1979 motion picture Alien.

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Jacob’s Top 10 Villain Songs in Film

Villains are supposed to be the most despicable, conniving characters on the screen. So why do we enjoy them? You could say they have a charm to them, or they can be just darn entertaining. However, I believe a villain song could be a major factor in why we love them so much. The villain song can explain their intentions, provide depth as to why they are who they are, and are just plain badass all around. These are the songs that I have found the most entertaining and what make it hard to hate them!

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