‘Fifty Shades Freed’ Film Review

Grade: F

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades Freed (2018)

It is no surprise that ‘Fifty Shades Freed’ – A.K.A. the third and final chapter of the ‘Fifty Shades’ trilogy – is terrible. In fact, it is kind of expected from a trilogy based on ‘Twilight’ fan fiction. We have no one to unfortunately thank than author E.L. James for making porn disguised as an erotic romance involving BDSM. Had 2015’s ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ not been successful, we probably would not have received two more sequels. You might be wondering, why would I see a movie that I know is going to be terrible in the first place? Let’s just say that it is a matter of unfinished business; as they say “It’s a dirty job and somebody’s gotta do it!”

‘Fifty Shades Freed’ starts us up during the wedding of Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), which is supposed to be sweet and heartfelt, but given the past circumstances of the previous installments, is like cheering on a train-wreck (In case you forgot, the relationship between both Christian and Anastasia was a rollercoaster of behavior typical of a stalker with sexual activity thrown in to keep the audience’s hormones raging); and the Grey-Steele train keeps rolling long after the wedding. Anyone who knows toxic relationships knows that it does not stop as soon as the bride and groom say their “I-Dos”. Christian is still the same controlling person he was when starting the contract with Ana; punishing her with handcuffs and whips after “disobeying” him, and wanting her to come straight home after work instead of drinking with her friends.

With ‘Fifty Shades Freed’, everything you expect is there. I should be used to this by now, but that does not justify its crimes against cinema. What makes this final installment worse is how it should not be counted as an actual movie. Ninety percent of this film is fit for porn. If there is not a shot of beautiful locations, or moments that feel like a car commercial (a car chase scene in particular felt like one of those ads featured before the previews), Christian Grey is having a hard time keeping it in his pants. At least in the previous movies, there was a story to branch out the sexual tension; THAT I can admit.

With all that said, I have come to the conclusion that the ‘Fifty Shades’ trilogy is nothing more than guilty pleasure entertainment. It may not be Tommy Wiseau’s ‘The Room’ in terms of so-bad-its-good entertainment, but it has been a pleasure to be tortured by Christian Grey.

 

13 thoughts on “‘Fifty Shades Freed’ Film Review

  1. Well…really absolutely did not expect this at all. I thought you would give this at least am A-rating. Highly disappointed at the fact that you could rate an absolute gem like this movie so low. Oh well….🤔🤔🤔
    Haha…of course totally agree here. One has to wonder how movies such as these even get made. It’s a total waste..and what’s even worse is that people flock to the theatres for it as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. But it’s topping the Box Office..But well then the previous ones did too and I didn’t like them… actually the only thing I watched was the first instalment and decided wouldn’t watch the others. Your review is so direct and well done and glad to have stumbled upon it. 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha ha!! Brave man watching this!! I couldn’t even pretend to think about watching these movies! My sister got me to read the books and I couldn’t even make it through them. And speaking of ‘The Room’ (such a horrible classic!) I really look forward to seeing ‘The Disaster Artist’ based on it. That looks pretty funny.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Speaking of ‘The Disaster Artist’, I wish I did get the chance, but I do not think there will be a screening in my town. Not enough Oscar noms for it.

      Liked by 1 person

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