Spam Saga – Ch.3 How to Gain MILLIONS of Readers Like ME: God, That’s My Little Sister?!? Larry Discovers Lee’s Secret!

Forgive Me for This One…

Forward:  If you haven’t read chapter one [link] or two [link] I suggest doing so. So this is going to be a bit of an extreme chapter. However, my site is largely “family friendly” so if I think a portion of this chapter is inappropriate for the site it will be censored like this:  [censored]. If you want an uncensored version, that’ll be on my Patreon for Patron’s ONLY and it will NOT become available for free at a later date like everything else. More on that later. I had a spam comment about Lee and Larry hooking up (among other things) and I’ve always wanted to make fun of the “falling in love with your little sister” story so here’s my shot. Remember, the ideas and views expressed in this series are not necessarily my own.

In the previous installment of Spam Saga…

I sent my SSID over to the Saudi-Arabian Prince and have now promptly waited one week. We heard the tale pertaining to the TRUE meaning of Christmas and learned a great deal about Lee and Larry. Having sold their adventures to further the advancement of their capitalistic society, Lee and Larry came into a great deal of money. However, Lee has been harboring a secret and Larry has since become suspicious. Just what do they plan to do with the money? More importantly, what awaits them in this chapter? Read on to discover Lee’s secret and more 😉 in this installment of Spam Saga!

Another problem has arisen so this time The Prince has found it necessary to speak to me via telephone. I found this agreeable and sent him my phone number. At first our connection seemed poor as he asked, “Can you hear me now?” several times.

Naturally, I replied with a swift, “Yes!” until he informed me that he could finally hear me as well. Strangely The Prince, who was Saudi-Arabian, sounded almost British over the telephone. I questioned him on this fact, for I am not some naïve idiot, but the matter was quickly resolved. He explained to me that he was from somewhere called, “British Columbia.” I had heard of Columbia before and just figured it was a lesser known area located in Saudi-Arabia. After all, I’ve never been terribly great at maps and this was the only logical conclusion. The Prince had been quite cordial and I had no reason to cast suspicion onto his motivations.

It seems that I am getting off-topic though. While I’m sure you are most intrigued about my eventual riches and how I shall organize my affairs once I have inherited the large sum, which is truly a blessing seeing my current lack of funds, it is not the reason you have come to read this most riveting installment. No, rather instead I am sure you would like for me to relay the story that The Prince told me over the phone with painstaking detail and attention.

This time, the story of Lee and Larry’s secret escapade into tasting a most forbidden fruit. A terrible secret hidden from one sibling by the other. Truly, a story that you can’t wait to hear! You must be on the edge of your seat in excitement! Try to contain yourself as I move forward with this saucy tale, sparing no detail.

Having now amassed a great fortune, Lee and Larry decided it was only right to have Mommy and Daddy go away on a vacation. After all, Lee and Larry were 14 and 17 respectively, more than capable of taking care of themselves for a bit. So before their parents were to leave, they decided to have a family game night.

It was in during an intense game of Twister that the family entered a deeply philosophical and theological debate regarding their God. It all began when Mommy suggested that Larry did not fully understand what God enjoyed most.

“‘I do know!?’ Mentioned Larrʏ. ?I beеt he likes аngels (of death) as a result of he hass them round all the time. Possibly he and the angels play family video games ⅼike we do sometimes. Maybe they play Monopoly.? This made Mommy gjggle actually hard.”

This continued on for sometime before they all eventually settled on the fact that their God respected them and would one day reward them for their undying devotion and efforts for his fated return on this Earth. It was an argument that was fairly mundane, unlike one your family has likely had in the past. After all, they are your typical American nuclear family, nothing all that special.

After the family game night had ended, the family prepared their good-bye’s and the two siblings were left home alone. This didn’t really bother them, they were used to being alone any way. Larry thought this was a good opportunity for he and his girlfriend, BestGirl to have a little fun. Lee seemed to be content in her bedroom but Larry began noticing something strange was going on with Lee.

It all began just a few weeks before their parents were going to leave for vacation. Larry noticed Lee was behaving suspiciously. Lee always used to hang around Larry, they would do fun things together but then Larry met BestGirl. Larry and BestGirl had been dating awhile but it was only around this time that he had introduced her to Lee and the rest of his family. After this day, Lee spent most of the day locked away in her room.

In fact, Larry hadn’t seen Lee much at all before the family game night and now that their parents were gone, he decided to see what was up. Larry entered Lee’s room without knocking and stumbled into Lee’s secret… literally!

Larry slipped on a banana peel right into Lee’s huge [censored]. Both parties were in a bit of shock. That’s when Lee became embarrassed and shouted, “Baka!” before slapping her brother so hard that he smashed all the way through the fourth wall.

“Ouch that hurt!” Larry said to you, but meaning to direct it at Lee. He was a bit confused still. “Wait a minute…” there was a pause as a revelation was dealt to Larry, “you-you’re a girl?!?”

Let me take a moment to grant some clarity regarding this particular scenario. Despite being close siblings, Larry did not know that Lee was female. In reality, nobody in her family did. Given her tomboyish ways and the fact that she wasn’t particularly feminine had raised no suspicion. Mommy and Daddy had not wanted to assume the gender of their children, and thus never bothered to find out what their children’s biological sex was. They figured that Lee and Larry would tell them when they were ready. In this way, Mommy and Daddy were quite progressive.

So naturally, Larry had never figured this out since Lee didn’t think that sort of thing was particularly important. After all, she figured it was what was on the inside that mattered most. Apparently, she was wrong.

Larry was in stark disbelief. His entire worldview was absolutely shattered. He had always thought that Lee was his Bishōnen of a brother. Certainly, this was going to be due an explanation but in this moment Larry fainted as his poor little brain failed to fully process the situation.

Larry awoke with the largest [censored] he had ever had in his entire life. His head rested gently on his sisters bare thighs. He was flustered and blushed profusely. It hadn’t been a dream, Lee really was a girl, and she was hot! Larry started to speak but Lee placed a finger over his lips to silence him.

“I owe you a bit of an explanation.” Lee began, “Just rest for now. Rest, and listen.” She began to caress his face gently as she applied a damped towel to his forehead. And thus, she started to spin her yarn.

“It all started long ago…” Lee began. She then explained how she was once a beautiful Goddess who wielded tremendous power. However, one day she happened to spy Larry living his humdrum life. She immediately fell in love with him and decided that she would give up her station as a Goddess and come to live in the mortal realm with Larry. She chose to be as close to him as possible and so entered this world as Larry’s younger sister. She merely wished to be near and support him at a distance, but that all changed once Larry started seeing BestGirl.

Even before BestGirl came into Larry’s life, things had not been very easy for Lee. She had to give up nearly all of her mystic power and was no longer loved and fawned over by many. In addition to this, she would never be able to truly have Larry’s heart, something that became all too apparent with BestGirl. To relive herself of her immense grief, Lee adopted an online persona and became an internet vocaloid sensation known as “The Goddess.”

In this she found her only oasis. She had millions, no billions of fans! She could almost forget the pain of not being able to savagely [censored] her brother’s [censored]. So during this time when she had been suspiciously absent, she had merely escaped into the paradise she had built for herself within the wired. In this way she had become all too human, soiled by emotion and brought down to a wrenched level not befitting of a Goddess.

“Now you know my terrible secret!” Lee sobbed. “Surely now you must hate me! You certainly cannot come to love me after my deceit and lies!” Lee didn’t know what to do any more. She was devastated.

That’s when Larry realized that he had made a mistake. He had broken Lee’s heart when he started dating BestGirl. How could he have done such a thing? Larry regretted this and decided that he would right this wrong, here and now.

In one swift motion Larry set himself atop Lee, so that she was left nearly breathless beneath him. “I understand” was all he said. She knew his meaning and readied herself for what was to come. Larry wasted no time as he began to engage himself with Lee.

He started by wiping away her tears. “I will never make you cry again.” Larry passionately promised to Lee as he [censored] her moist [censored]. In this moment Larry tossed aside his feelings for BestGirl, he would just break up with her! He then fully committed himself to these actions by [censored – censored] Lee’s [censored].

That’s when things started getting totally wild. “Hey you remember family game night?” Larry whispered softly into Lee’s ear. “Let’s have some fun playing Twister” he playfully suggested with a wink. Lee only nodded, she was so happy. They then began to [censored – censored – censored] before the game began.

Right hand yellow. “Well ok,” thought Larry, “this is going to be good!” The game proceeded, all the while [censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored]. They were totally exhausted when the “game” was finally over.

Lee and Larry lay [censored] as they looked fondly on what had just occurred. Lee appreciated Larry’s [censored] and the way he [censored – censored – censored – censored- censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored]. Larry loved the way Lee [censored] as they [censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored] through the evening.

That’s when Lee and Larry noticed that somebody had walked in. That particular somebody had seen everything. Heard everything. They now stood before the pair in absolute shock at what had just occurred. It was BestGirl.

BestGirl did what only came natural to her at the sight of Lee and Larry [censored – censored – censored – censored], she grabbed one of the kitchen knives. That’s when she gunned for Larry. In a desperate [censored] struggle, Lee only watched in horror as BestGirl began to [censored] Larry’s [censored]. [Censored] went everywhere as Larry’s [censored] fell to the floor with an echoing “thud.”

The two girls began to weep as Larry was now dead. An unfortunate turn of events to say the least. It was then that Lee got angry, and you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

Lee began to [censored – censored – censored – censored – censored -censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored]. Before [censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored].

BestGirl lay gasping as the life ebbed out of her. That was the end of BestGirl.

Lee knew she had little time. She wasn’t even sure if this would work now that she had been severed from her Godly power. Still, she had to try. She picked up Larry’s [censored – censored] and attempt to resurrect him. There was a faint glow that emitted from Lee’s delicate, but now shaking, hands. “I-it’s working!” she exclaimed to herself in surprise.

Unfortunately, it did not work.

Now in denial, she attempted time and again with every ounce of her being to return her brother to the land of the living. Tears began to flow with a torrent of wailing as she eventually mourned the loss of her brother. She decided to give him one last [censored] and she [censored] him [censored – censored – censored] that her love was finally able to save him.

Larry didn’t know what had happened once he came to. Everything seemed perfectly normal. He had a massive [censored] though and knew it was from this bizarre dream he had where Lee had [censored – censored – censored – censored -censored – censored – censored – censored] him while he [censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored] with her.

Later in the dream his girlfriend BestGirl showed up but that’s all he could remember. Lee noticed that Larry was awake and embraced him with a flurry of tears and insults. Something about the scene was off to Larry. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it. That’s when he realized that Lee was a girl, and she was hot!

It was here that the phone suddenly disconnected as I talked to the Saudi-Arabian Prince but I am sure of what he was going to tell me next. This was a cautionary tale about why you shouldn’t fall in love with your little sister, or cheat, or something like that. I’m sure there was some moral in there. Now to just sit back, relax, and wait for The Prince to deliver me my fortune!

Next time…

[censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored – censored] that’s when their parents returned!

You won’t want to miss out the next jaw-dropping installment of Spam Saga!


Earlier I mentioned there was an uncensored version up on my Patreon, and there is! It won’t become free like everything else but I know you won’t regret supporting me and reading it. This is going to start a handful of things that will become Patreon exclusive but most everything will remain free if anybody was worried.

I know some may be worried about the content featured in the uncensored version but don’t worry. Just check out what some totally real readers have had to say about it! You won’t want to miss out.

With that, what do you think will happen next? Let me know your suggestion in the comments below along with your thoughts on this week’s installment. I might take a week off from these to see what people thing but I enjoy writing these and would like to continue the series. I hope you are all enjoying it! 🙂

As always, support me on Patreon to get some exclusive stuff, occasional early access to things, and to help me out. Plus you get added to the Patreon Hall of Fame as a nice bonus. Your support is greatly appreciated! Just click the button below to learn more.

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