‘Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special’ Review

Grade: C+

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I’m pretty sure that Netflix came out with only two holiday specials starring a major name. The last I saw being ‘A Very Murray Christmas’ with Bill Murray, that was dull, depressing, and only succeeded in spreading misery during the holiday season. What ‘Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special’ tends to do is not just satirize all the celebrity holiday specials that have come out in the past, but does so in such a way to feel more like ‘Saturday Night Live’ hosted by Michael Bolton in February. Guaranteed there are some laughs and clever jokes to be seen in these skits, but not all of them add up to anything and serve as a way for Bolton to bust out his singing voice, and maybe have some fun along the way.

The 80’s crooner of hits such as ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’ and ‘How am I Supposed to Live Without You’ is tasked with hosting a holiday special when Santa Claus (Jimmy Graham) shows up during a random, yet nonsensical opening number about Christmas being ten months away from the current holiday — cleverly satirizing the social media generation’s obsession with counting down the months — to tell him about toy sales boosting if more babies are conceived (I am not making this up, I swear!). 

Making this even more ridiculous is the amount of celebrities this special added in. Answering the telephones to the baby-making hotline are the likes of Louie Anderson, Bob Saget, Janeane Garofalo, and Brooke Shields, to name a few. There are also skits containing Maya Rudolph (as herself) singing about the history of key changes in music; not a great skit, yet Rudolph herself is a funny woman; The Lonely Island’s Andy Samberg as Kenny G Sarah Silverman and Randall Park singing about how happy their characters are as a couple (with tons of sexually explicit lyrics included); a doctor (Chris Parnell) that shows Bolton a virtual reality helmet that is all too real; Will Forte playing Bolton’s less talented twin brother Michael Fulton; Fred Armisen as a chocolate chef who specializes in providing nothing but the best sweets for anyone’s sweetie; an over-the-top parody of infomercial chefs featuring Tim Robinson; and a horrible parody of ‘The Cupid Shuffle’ featuring Eric Andre to name most.

What ‘Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special’ succeeds at is having fun with itself, making it an even better experience than ‘A Very Murray Christmas’. I guarantee that even if you are single and tired of Valentine’s Day being pushed in your face, you could still find some guilty pleasure fun with this holiday special. Couples may even find themselves enjoying this film a lot more with Bolton giving winks to the audience. I even enjoyed this special in a way that it is clever and fun, even when it isn’t really too clever.

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